This is the third lesson in a series on fear.  

In the last lesson, we talked about determining if your fear is rational.                                     

How do you know?  When I was a baby, a neighbor girl threw a puppy on me.  It scratched me so badly that I still carry the scar on my toe. So, was it rational for me to be afraid of dogs as a child?  I would say 'yes'.  However, I had to learn to handle that fear. Is it rational to be afraid of snakes?  I would say 'yes', because even if the snake is nonpoisonous, its bite can still make you very sick.  

Some fears are not rational.  I always think of something I witnessed years ago.  Even as a child, I knew it wasn't rational.  We grew up next door to a couple with three children about our ages.  We were close as children and our parents were close.  They often got together to play dominoes. One summer night, all the kids were outside playing while the adults played dominoes.  Behind their dining room table, where the adults sat, was a big picture window.  The mother sat with her back to the window.  The boy in the family told us, "Watch this.  My mom is afraid of frogs."  The boy, who was about 9 or 10, caught a frog, held it up to the window, and yelled "Hey mom, look."  She turned around, screamed, jumped up from the table, knocked her husband out of the way, and ran to the bedroom, screaming all the way.  I could not believe it.  A grown woman was afraid of a frog.  A FROG.  They don't bite or sting.  So how can you be afraid of them? Not only that, but how could the frog hurt her from the other side of a picture window?

That is absolute irrational fear.  Now someone is going to say, "You don't know.  Maybe she was frightened with a frog when she was small."  She probably was, just like I was frightened with a dog.  Even when I was afraid of dogs, I wasn't scared of them if they were on the other side of a wall or window.  And I never knocked my husband down trying to get away from one.  

In Deuteronomy 1, the Israelites were ready and willing to march into the promise land.  Then the spies began to talk about the huge people inhabiting the land. The people probably grew two inches with each story told.  Some scholars say the Israelites were between 5'5" and 5'10", so the dwellers looked even larger than they actually were.  The spies probably started out telling about the 6'2" men.  The next story the men were probably 6'4".  During the night of storytelling, they might have gotten to be 7' or more.  With each story the Israelites were less willing to march into the land. 

So was their fear rational?  Yes, absolutely.  However, their fear was based on exaggerated information.  This is another thing that fear does.  It distorts God's purpose.  Do we think that God didn't know how big the inhabitants were when He promised the land to the Israelites?  Of course He did.  But He had a purpose in sending the Israelites to take the land.  The Israelites allowed the stories to blur God's purpose. 

We do the same thing.  God lays something on our heart and we feel a little fear.  Before long we have talked ourselves out of doing what God told us.  Imagine He says, "Reach out to Josephine.  Make amends with her."  You answer quickly, "Lord, I'm willing to follow You, but she is the one who broke our friendship. She should reach out to me."  "I told you to reach out." "Yes, Lord, but I'm busy today.  I'll do it tomorrow."

During the night, your mind starts.

• What if she doesn't want my friendship?  (Concern)
• What if she tells me to leave?  (Worry)
• What if she slams the door in my face? (More worry)
• What if she meets me at the door with a gun? (Irrational worry)
• What if...

Oh, let's get real.  If she doesn't want your friendship, leave.  If she tells you to leave, leave.  If she slams the door in your face, leave.  What if, what if, what if.  We 'what if' our lives away and miss many opportunities to serve others.  Then we miss the blessings the God has for us, just like the Israelites did.

In this case, ask yourself:

• Is my fear rational?
• Do I believe that God told me to go?
• Do I trust God?
• Would my loving savior lead me into something dangerous?

Fear disregards God's plans and distorts His purposes.  The fear may be real, but God will give you the victory over it.

This is the second lesson about fear.  Please be sure you have read the first lesson before reading this one. Some references will not be clear if you read this one first.

In the first lesson, we talked about fear and where it begins.  Well, we all know it doesn't begin with God.  The Bible tells us 365 times 'do not fear'.  That is one time for each day of the year.  We usually think of these verses as written to comfort us.  I'm sure they are.  But what if there is much more to these verses? Is God commanding us to not fear?  Are we being disobedient when we fear?  Let's be clear that we are talking about irrational, debilitating fear. Let's look at that kind of fear.

So where does fear begin?  In our minds.  Fear has been described as beginning with a small trickle and expanding minute by minute until it is so wide that all of our thoughts fall into the gully.   Like erosion wears away the earth, fear wears away our ability to use logical reasoning and trust in God.  You remember from science class that small creeks grow into streams, streams into lakes, lakes into rivers, and rivers into oceans. That is what we allow fear to do to our minds.  It goes something like this:

• I sure am coughing. (Awareness)
• I hope I'm not getting sick. (Concern)
• It could be a cold. (Rational thinking)
• What if I am getting an infection?(Worry)
• What if I have a virus? (More worry, blood pressure rises)
• What if I have COVID-19?(Extreme worry, blood pressure rises, heart beat races)
• What if I have to go to the hospital? (breathing labored)
• What if I can't get to the hospital?  (dizzy)
• What if I die?  (call for help)
• Medical personnel examines you.  (Diagnosis--Allergies and extreme stress brought on by worrying about your cough)

You mean the same allergies you have every year at this time?  Yes, those allergies.  In a very short time, you took yourself from coughing to having a deadly disease.  Everything, except the coughing, was in your head. Your mind manufactured the 'what ifs' and did more harm to your health than the real medical problem.

Years ago, there was a man in our church that had a heart attack.  He was treated in the hospital and given instructions on how to be safe and healthy.  Yet, every time we had a storm or there was a loud noise in the neighborhood, he thought he was having another attack.  After several trips to the Emergency Room, a doctor told him, "Look, you are causing your pain.  It's not your heart, it's your fear that is hurting you." Wow!  What a great statement.  

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  My fear is real and telling me that the Bible says not to fear doesn't help.  Now what do I do with my fear?

​I'm glad you asked.  I will answer that--later.  For now, let's look at one thing that fear does.  

Fear disregards God's plan.  In Deuteronomy, God had a plan to give the Israelites the Promise Land.  They knew that.  Yet, they decided to disregard God's plan and stay in the wilderness.  God wanted to bless His people.  Because of they feared rather than trusted God, they didn't receive God's blessing.

We do the same thing. God still wants to bless His people.  We fear we won't get the job we want, so we accept a lower position.  We fear we will spend our life alone, so we accept a marriage proposal from someone who doesn't love God.  We fear our children will be upset with us, so we fail to discipline them.  

When we make a decision based on fear, we are disregarding God's plan. Fear based decisions are not rational, logical, or reasonable.  But worse than that, it is faithless.  It robs you of your faith in God and His blessing for you.

Just yesterday, I had to do something I didn't want to do.  I had to speak to another Christian about some issues that were hindering her growth.  I feared she would turn away from me.  Of course, I decided to forget it and not talk to her.  You don't think God let me get by with that, do you?  No, He let me know that I had to speak to her.  So, I spent some time on the internet with preachers that I trust, learning about how to admonish and edify a fellow Christian.  Then spent time in prayer. When I did speak to her, God gave me loving words to say that built her up instead of hurting her.  I can assure you that what I said is not what I wanted to say.  But, they are the words that God gave me.  I was able to get the point across and show the love of Christ at the same time.  Had I let me fear control my thinking, I would have failed to learn from the pastors, allowed a fellow Christian to flounder, and missed a blessing that God had waiting for me.

What do you do with your fear?  We will talk about that in more detail in later sessions.  However, here are a few questions that will help.  Ask yourself:

• Is my fear rational? 
• What are the odds that this will happen to me?
• Am I failing to trust God?

We will talk more about these and other questions next session.  Thank you for studying with me.  Please feel free to leave a comment or send an email.