Welcome to Stories For Christ. Please stay as long as you want. Under the headings at the top, you will find fictional stories for all ages. Please visit Grace In Knowing, the page I write bible study lessons for my Sunday School class. The latest is a series on FEAR. The first lesson, Seeing the Enemy, shows how we react when fear sets in. The second, My Heart, My Mind, My Fear, shows where fear begins and what it does to us. The third, a study on rational fear, is coming soon. I hope you enjoy the site.
The Law Says I Have To Send My Child To School. ----Hmmm. No It Doesn't.
I am hearing many parents express concern about their child attending public school this year. I have been asked, "Since the number of COVID-19 cases have risen, why is school safe for my child now when it wasn't in March?" Very good question.
Do you have a choice? Are you legally bound to send your child to school if you feel it is unsafe?
Yes, you have a choice. And no, you are not legally bound to send your child to school. There are laws requiring you to see that your child receives an education, but no law says it has to be 'public school. The federal law states: 'Compulsory attendance laws refer to legislative mandates that school-aged children attend public, nonpublic, or homeschools until reaching specified ages. The primary components of compulsory attendance laws include school admission and exit ages, length of school years, student enrollment procedures and requirements, and enforcement of student truancy provisions. Local school attendance officers and/or juvenile domestic relations courts generally enforce compulsory attendance laws. Additionally, all jurisdictions hold parents or legal guardians legally responsible for the school attendance of their children.' https://www.usedulaw.com
Parents have the right to choose their child's education system. They also have the responsibility to see that their child receives an education. Some parents are looking into alternative formats this year. There many options. Here are a few alternatives:
Online schools. Online schools with real teachers. Some meet at specific times and attendance is reported. Students receive instruction and then complete assignments outside of the classroom. Some of these schools are tuition free. Other schools attendance is not mandatory and have teachers standing by for support when and if needed.
Homeschool. Parents can purchase curriculum from the 'homeschool' and the child completes the assignments independently. When the unit is completed, it is sent to administration. Then the next unit is sent to the student. The cycle continues until the yearly objectives have been completed by the student.
Private School. Private schools can be expensive, however, they do have fewer students. Attendance is mandatory and instruction is done during regular school hours. Most private schools work well with the parents to support educational goals.
No matter which format is right for you and your child, please remember that you do have a choice. You do not have to send your child into an environment that you feel is unsafe. Trust your instincts.
New World, New Venture
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Well, the world has changed over that last few months. It seems like it has been one crisis after another. The pandemic has certainly changed the way we live. We do even the smallest things in our lives in a different way than we did a year ago.
One of the things that has changed is the way we educate our students. Some school districts are not even offering traditional school. One district has elected to be online for the entire year and students will be logged into the computer for eight hours a day. The districts that are offering school are under such strict guidelines, teaching will be minimal. There won't be time to teach after following the sanitation procedures. My friend received an email from her district informing her of the procedures they must follow. The instructions covered six pages. By the time a teacher does all that, there will be no time left to teach.
Some parents are choosing not to send their children to traditional school this year. Homeschooling and online education will be more popular this year. If you are one of those parents, here are some guidelines to help you navigate this new terrain.
REMINDER: Paying for education is expensive. Paying for ignorance is over-whelming.
One of the things that has changed is the way we educate our students. Some school districts are not even offering traditional school. One district has elected to be online for the entire year and students will be logged into the computer for eight hours a day. The districts that are offering school are under such strict guidelines, teaching will be minimal. There won't be time to teach after following the sanitation procedures. My friend received an email from her district informing her of the procedures they must follow. The instructions covered six pages. By the time a teacher does all that, there will be no time left to teach.
Some parents are choosing not to send their children to traditional school this year. Homeschooling and online education will be more popular this year. If you are one of those parents, here are some guidelines to help you navigate this new terrain.
- Follow a specific curriculum. Curriculum can be purchased online which will cover the standards your child needs to learn. Please do not trust your own judgement of what your child is to learn.
- Set a specific time for 'school' just like traditional school does.
- Set goals for each week. Include how much of each subject or project will be completed by the end of the week.
- Review the goals and celebrate the accomplishments.
REMINDER: Paying for education is expensive. Paying for ignorance is over-whelming.
Police Brutality
Is there police brutality in America? Absolutely.
Should it be tolerated? In no way.
Should they be held accountable? As fast as possible.
Are all officers bad? No.
There are bad officers. I know this because there are bad teachers, doctors, nurses, CEOs, and secretaries. There are bad people in every profession. I know this because there are bad people all over this world. As long as there are bad people in the world, there will be bad people in professions.
We have heard a lot about police brutality in the last week. What happened to George Floyd is a shame and a crime. The officer responsible should be held accountable. Since that video aired, I've seen a vast number of other videos claiming police brutality. Some have been just that and I hope the officer is appropriately disciplined.
But, most of the videos I have seen are officers doing their job--or attempting to do their job and a citizen not cooperating. I have seen several videos where the officer made a simple request and the citizen copped an attitude immediately. Screaming things like, "WHY?" "YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO ASK ME TO DO THAT." "I DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU SAID." "DON'T TELL ME THE LAW. I KNOW THE LAW." Meanwhile, the officer is trying to complete the call and go on the next call. The citizen prolongs the encounter and deeply frustrates the officer.
There have been a few times when I wanted to argue with a cop. I always did as I was asked, allowed him to do his job, and then said what I wanted to say. I made sure that I was polite and calm, but I let him know I thought the situation was unfair. It didn't change anything, but neither would arguing with him and being uncooperative.
I have also been on the other side when a parent was angry with me. Instead of trying to solve the problem, they yelled at me. One parent, who was also a teacher, yelled, "Exactly why did you give my kid a 50 on his paper?" I said, "He did exactly 50% of the work. What should I have given him?" He didn't answer.
Instead of yelling at each other and worrying about our rights, why don't we all take a step back and try to get along. It is faster, easier on the blood pressure, and puts everyone in a better mood.
Should it be tolerated? In no way.
Should they be held accountable? As fast as possible.
Are all officers bad? No.
There are bad officers. I know this because there are bad teachers, doctors, nurses, CEOs, and secretaries. There are bad people in every profession. I know this because there are bad people all over this world. As long as there are bad people in the world, there will be bad people in professions.
We have heard a lot about police brutality in the last week. What happened to George Floyd is a shame and a crime. The officer responsible should be held accountable. Since that video aired, I've seen a vast number of other videos claiming police brutality. Some have been just that and I hope the officer is appropriately disciplined.
But, most of the videos I have seen are officers doing their job--or attempting to do their job and a citizen not cooperating. I have seen several videos where the officer made a simple request and the citizen copped an attitude immediately. Screaming things like, "WHY?" "YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO ASK ME TO DO THAT." "I DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU SAID." "DON'T TELL ME THE LAW. I KNOW THE LAW." Meanwhile, the officer is trying to complete the call and go on the next call. The citizen prolongs the encounter and deeply frustrates the officer.
There have been a few times when I wanted to argue with a cop. I always did as I was asked, allowed him to do his job, and then said what I wanted to say. I made sure that I was polite and calm, but I let him know I thought the situation was unfair. It didn't change anything, but neither would arguing with him and being uncooperative.
I have also been on the other side when a parent was angry with me. Instead of trying to solve the problem, they yelled at me. One parent, who was also a teacher, yelled, "Exactly why did you give my kid a 50 on his paper?" I said, "He did exactly 50% of the work. What should I have given him?" He didn't answer.
Instead of yelling at each other and worrying about our rights, why don't we all take a step back and try to get along. It is faster, easier on the blood pressure, and puts everyone in a better mood.
How Will Social Distancing Affect Us? May 31, 2020
I have been asked my opinion of social distancing and how it will affect us in the future. Let me be clear that this is just my opinion. Feel free to disagree if you wish.
Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am not a touchy-feely type person. Some think I don't like hugs. I love hugs, but hug me and let me go. I don't like the hug that traps me in a bear-hug, squeezing and restraining me. I feel like I am being held against my will and there is no escaping. A panic attack will soon follow. I think hugs are essential to mental health. Studies show that babies develop more quickly with more touches. Students participate more in class when they are touched by the teacher. Friendships are formed when people touch.
I remember being in labor with my first child. The baby was too large and I was in extreme pain. They had given me all the pain medication they could without harming the baby. As I laid there, unable to see or hear anything because of the intense pain, I felt someone stroke my right arm. Then someone else began stroking my left arm. Through squinted eyes and tears, I saw that it was the nurse and the anesthesiologist. Those touches comforted me more than the medication.
The opposite is also true. Years ago, my friend traveled to another state to bring her grandchildren back home with her. The next week, I visited her home. I saw her nine month old grandson lying on the floor. At nine months old, he was unable to lift his head, move his arms, smile, sit up, or roll over. My friend quickly called in Early Childhood Intervention. He was diagnosed with Failure To Thrive Syndrome. His parents had placed him in his crib and the only interaction he received was when he was fed or cleaned. Within months of arriving at his grandparents' house, this child was thriving and gained age-appropriate skills so quickly that he was dismissed by ECI when he turned two years old. With the specialized training of professionals and the love of grandparents, a child was rescued from a disability that could have affected his entire life.
Today we wear masks so you can't see our mouths or smiles. We wear gloves so our skin doesn't touch someone else's. We stand six feet away from others. We can't socialize with others. We can't worship together. Our doctors have phone conferences with us instead of office visits. We are not allowed to see our loved ones in the hospital or nursing homes. We are bound to our homes and allowed to leave for only essential activities. Schools have been closed for three months.
I have read the CDC recommendations to begin school. Staff are to wear masks and gloves at all times. Students are to stay six feet away from each other. Students may not share supplies or learning tools. Every hallway is to be one way. Students are to stay with one teacher all day. That means no special programs. Students who require dyslexia or special education programs will either stay with the special program teacher and have no interaction with their non-disabled peers, or with the general education teacher and receive not special services. Either choice is a violation of federal law. There will be no PE. Can you imagine recess? Who do you play with? You have to stay six feet away from all other students. Also, students will not be allowed to go to the cafeteria. Prepackaged food will be brought to their desks and they will eat there. These are just recommendations, but they must be considered by every school administration.
These restrictions remind me of a book titled 'The Giver' by Lois Lowry . It is an award-winning book about a future society where all decisions are made for the people by the council. Everyone dresses alike and no color is allowed in the world. Everything is white. Husbands and wives are assigned to each other for life. Jobs are assigned for a lifetime to each resident at a certain age, based on intelligence and skills. One of the 'jobs' assigned to lower intelligent women is the job of birth mother. They have the babies and each couple can 'apply' for a baby. One will be assigned to them. Food is placed in locker type spaces from the outside by the employees. The residents do not see the person delivering it. They also do not choose what they eat. That decision is also made by the council.
I think that if the CDC restrictions are applied in schools, we will quickly be setting ourselves up for a world where we don't see each other as individuals. We are removing human qualities from impressionable children. If we follow these rules, we may have a physically healthy world. However, we will have a mentally and emotionally crippled world where there is no empathy , sympathy or compassion for our fellow man.
For every decision there is a consequence. Is the result of removing our emotional attachment to each other worth the cost we will pay in the future?
Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am not a touchy-feely type person. Some think I don't like hugs. I love hugs, but hug me and let me go. I don't like the hug that traps me in a bear-hug, squeezing and restraining me. I feel like I am being held against my will and there is no escaping. A panic attack will soon follow. I think hugs are essential to mental health. Studies show that babies develop more quickly with more touches. Students participate more in class when they are touched by the teacher. Friendships are formed when people touch.
I remember being in labor with my first child. The baby was too large and I was in extreme pain. They had given me all the pain medication they could without harming the baby. As I laid there, unable to see or hear anything because of the intense pain, I felt someone stroke my right arm. Then someone else began stroking my left arm. Through squinted eyes and tears, I saw that it was the nurse and the anesthesiologist. Those touches comforted me more than the medication.
The opposite is also true. Years ago, my friend traveled to another state to bring her grandchildren back home with her. The next week, I visited her home. I saw her nine month old grandson lying on the floor. At nine months old, he was unable to lift his head, move his arms, smile, sit up, or roll over. My friend quickly called in Early Childhood Intervention. He was diagnosed with Failure To Thrive Syndrome. His parents had placed him in his crib and the only interaction he received was when he was fed or cleaned. Within months of arriving at his grandparents' house, this child was thriving and gained age-appropriate skills so quickly that he was dismissed by ECI when he turned two years old. With the specialized training of professionals and the love of grandparents, a child was rescued from a disability that could have affected his entire life.
Today we wear masks so you can't see our mouths or smiles. We wear gloves so our skin doesn't touch someone else's. We stand six feet away from others. We can't socialize with others. We can't worship together. Our doctors have phone conferences with us instead of office visits. We are not allowed to see our loved ones in the hospital or nursing homes. We are bound to our homes and allowed to leave for only essential activities. Schools have been closed for three months.
I have read the CDC recommendations to begin school. Staff are to wear masks and gloves at all times. Students are to stay six feet away from each other. Students may not share supplies or learning tools. Every hallway is to be one way. Students are to stay with one teacher all day. That means no special programs. Students who require dyslexia or special education programs will either stay with the special program teacher and have no interaction with their non-disabled peers, or with the general education teacher and receive not special services. Either choice is a violation of federal law. There will be no PE. Can you imagine recess? Who do you play with? You have to stay six feet away from all other students. Also, students will not be allowed to go to the cafeteria. Prepackaged food will be brought to their desks and they will eat there. These are just recommendations, but they must be considered by every school administration.
These restrictions remind me of a book titled 'The Giver' by Lois Lowry . It is an award-winning book about a future society where all decisions are made for the people by the council. Everyone dresses alike and no color is allowed in the world. Everything is white. Husbands and wives are assigned to each other for life. Jobs are assigned for a lifetime to each resident at a certain age, based on intelligence and skills. One of the 'jobs' assigned to lower intelligent women is the job of birth mother. They have the babies and each couple can 'apply' for a baby. One will be assigned to them. Food is placed in locker type spaces from the outside by the employees. The residents do not see the person delivering it. They also do not choose what they eat. That decision is also made by the council.
I think that if the CDC restrictions are applied in schools, we will quickly be setting ourselves up for a world where we don't see each other as individuals. We are removing human qualities from impressionable children. If we follow these rules, we may have a physically healthy world. However, we will have a mentally and emotionally crippled world where there is no empathy , sympathy or compassion for our fellow man.
For every decision there is a consequence. Is the result of removing our emotional attachment to each other worth the cost we will pay in the future?
Walk In My Shoes, Please May 24, 2020
This week I read an opinion posted on social media. It made me stop and think about my words, actions, and attitude. Yes, there was some conviction and I had to spend some time with my Savior to have peace in my heart. I do have peace about it, but the words of the author still bothered me.
In case you haven't learned, everyone knows how you should solve your problems. They advise you. They counsel you. They instruct you. Then they leave you to solve the problem. They are not there to watch you follow their advice and instruction. They are not there afterwards when it is time to clean up the mess.
What bothered me so much about the opinion was that I have already tried the 'cure all' they prescribed. It didn't work. In fact, things got worse. Years ago, I learned that I could not follow the 'perfect woman' path. I had tried for years and it was taking its toll on my physical health. The doctor said to me, "I will not prescribe a medication for you to live on. Get some counseling and find out what is wrong." I did that. I saw my pastor of many years. I told him what the doctor had said and he didn't even flinch. He said, "I can tell you what is wrong with you. You are not submissive to your husband. You are subservient and that is not the way God planned it."
A few nights later, I was washing dishes and pondering something my husband had done that demonstrated a lack of respect for me. I stopped washing the dishes, walked boldly into the living room, where my husband was reading the newspaper. I stood in front of him and calmly said, "I have something to say. You are not going to like it, but there will be a change in our home." I then told him whatever it was that I was upset about. He was so surprised that he dropped the newspaper. He said, "In nine years of marriage, you have never spoken to me like that." I replied, "Maybe that's the problem." He said, "Maybe it is."
My husband is a wonderful man with a servants heart. He wants God's blessings and spends much time studying and serving God. However, because of seeds that were planted early in his secular life by domineering men and in his early Christian walk by a domineering pastor, occasionally I have to stand up for myself. I have tried other ways suggested by Christian counselors to women. With my husband's upbringing and early Christian education. I got brushed aside and my request quickly forgotten.
I have learned to calmly set boundaries in my marriage. I always spend much time in prayer about a situation that needs to be addressed. I ask for guidance on the right time to speak as well as the words to say. I speak softly, respectfully, and boldly. I know that I am standing up for a daughter of the King of Kings.
My point is that we don't know what goes on behind closed doors. We don't know the dynamics and intricacies of a home. For every heartache we share, there are five we don't. When we see a sister do or say something we disagree with, let's try to remember that we don't know everything about her. Unless we have walked in her shoes, we shouldn't impose our solutions on her problems.
In case you haven't learned, everyone knows how you should solve your problems. They advise you. They counsel you. They instruct you. Then they leave you to solve the problem. They are not there to watch you follow their advice and instruction. They are not there afterwards when it is time to clean up the mess.
What bothered me so much about the opinion was that I have already tried the 'cure all' they prescribed. It didn't work. In fact, things got worse. Years ago, I learned that I could not follow the 'perfect woman' path. I had tried for years and it was taking its toll on my physical health. The doctor said to me, "I will not prescribe a medication for you to live on. Get some counseling and find out what is wrong." I did that. I saw my pastor of many years. I told him what the doctor had said and he didn't even flinch. He said, "I can tell you what is wrong with you. You are not submissive to your husband. You are subservient and that is not the way God planned it."
A few nights later, I was washing dishes and pondering something my husband had done that demonstrated a lack of respect for me. I stopped washing the dishes, walked boldly into the living room, where my husband was reading the newspaper. I stood in front of him and calmly said, "I have something to say. You are not going to like it, but there will be a change in our home." I then told him whatever it was that I was upset about. He was so surprised that he dropped the newspaper. He said, "In nine years of marriage, you have never spoken to me like that." I replied, "Maybe that's the problem." He said, "Maybe it is."
My husband is a wonderful man with a servants heart. He wants God's blessings and spends much time studying and serving God. However, because of seeds that were planted early in his secular life by domineering men and in his early Christian walk by a domineering pastor, occasionally I have to stand up for myself. I have tried other ways suggested by Christian counselors to women. With my husband's upbringing and early Christian education. I got brushed aside and my request quickly forgotten.
I have learned to calmly set boundaries in my marriage. I always spend much time in prayer about a situation that needs to be addressed. I ask for guidance on the right time to speak as well as the words to say. I speak softly, respectfully, and boldly. I know that I am standing up for a daughter of the King of Kings.
My point is that we don't know what goes on behind closed doors. We don't know the dynamics and intricacies of a home. For every heartache we share, there are five we don't. When we see a sister do or say something we disagree with, let's try to remember that we don't know everything about her. Unless we have walked in her shoes, we shouldn't impose our solutions on her problems.
Life Lessons--Who Me? May 2020
My niece sent my mother a card and signed it 'Thanks for all the life lessons you taught me.' When my mother was telling me about it, she said, "If I am giving anyone life lessons, I didn't know it." Well, here's the truth.
We all give some kind of life lesson every day. Whether we realize it or not, someone is watching us. As Christians, we teach the world about the love of Christ. Sometimes we teach a good lesson. Other times we show how Christians should not act. God and I have had many conversations in which He reminded me of a moment in my life. As He replayed the video in my mind, He let me know that I certainly didn't show the love of Christ then.
I once worked with a woman who loved to profess her faith in Christ. However, she sure didn't show His love. I remember one time when she was so rude, I thought 'please stop telling people you're a Christian.' I was so glad when she retired. She wasn't a mean person. It was just that she spent so much time telling people what a good Christian she was and very little time showing them.
Actually, we shouldn't have to tell people we are Christians. If they can't tell by our actions, then we are doing something wrong. We need to re-examine our relationship to God. Either we aren't truly saved or we aren't walking as close to Him as we should. Christianity isn't a badge or a label to be worn. It is a life that should be lived so that others can see and know we are Christians by our actions. There is a song that says, "They will know we are Christians by our love, by our love. Yes, they'll know we are Christians by our love." Every time we sing it, I wonder 'would they really.'
As you go through your day, pay close attention to your actions, voice, words, and expressions. What lesson are teaching about Christ?
We all give some kind of life lesson every day. Whether we realize it or not, someone is watching us. As Christians, we teach the world about the love of Christ. Sometimes we teach a good lesson. Other times we show how Christians should not act. God and I have had many conversations in which He reminded me of a moment in my life. As He replayed the video in my mind, He let me know that I certainly didn't show the love of Christ then.
I once worked with a woman who loved to profess her faith in Christ. However, she sure didn't show His love. I remember one time when she was so rude, I thought 'please stop telling people you're a Christian.' I was so glad when she retired. She wasn't a mean person. It was just that she spent so much time telling people what a good Christian she was and very little time showing them.
Actually, we shouldn't have to tell people we are Christians. If they can't tell by our actions, then we are doing something wrong. We need to re-examine our relationship to God. Either we aren't truly saved or we aren't walking as close to Him as we should. Christianity isn't a badge or a label to be worn. It is a life that should be lived so that others can see and know we are Christians by our actions. There is a song that says, "They will know we are Christians by our love, by our love. Yes, they'll know we are Christians by our love." Every time we sing it, I wonder 'would they really.'
As you go through your day, pay close attention to your actions, voice, words, and expressions. What lesson are teaching about Christ?
Do I Want To Be Happy?
That seems like a silly question, doesn't it? Doesn't everyone want to be happy? That's what we believe. But is it reality?
Growing up, it seemed like bad things happened around me and to me. My parents were young when I was born. When they socialized with others their own age, the friend's children were much younger than I was. Therefore, I spent a lot of boring nights waiting to go home while my parents played cards or dominoes with friends. No one to talk to. No one to play with. Nothing to do. I didn't fit in.
At school, I was smaller than everyone else. I was not as blessed financially as everyone else. I didn't have many friends. I wasn't a good student. I didn't fit in.
At home, the youngest of my siblings was an outstanding student, talented artist, musically gifted, and just seemed to excel at everything. My sibling closest to me was a gifted housekeeper, seamstress, cook, and basically the perfect wife for some lucky man. I had no talents. I chose to lose myself in books. I read one book during the week and two every weekend. What else did I do? Hmmm, that's about it. I could have sung the Hee Haw song, "If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all."
As an adult, nothing changed. It seemed that something or somebody always had me upset. When I look back at the things that happened to me, I had a right to be upset. Nobody had to right to treat me that way. I spent a lot of time fighting for my rights. In the middle of college, my husband lost his job. We had no way to pay for my education, but if I didn't get my education, we had no way to get out of our financial crisis. I couldn't borrow the money because my husband had made ample money the year before and the loans were based on last year's income statement. I didn't qualify for a grant for the same reason.
With loans from our church, I finished school and began looking for jobs. I was hired by the district that I least wanted to work for. But I took the job because we needed it. My first year was miserable. A teacher in the school targeted me when I walked in the door. She lied about me, to me, and on me. She left at the end of the year. I was mistaken to think things would be great. Things still seemed to happen to me and has continued to this day.
In short, I have spent most of my life riding an emotional roller coaster. The other day I was spending some time in self-reflection and prayer. I asked God to allow me to have a calm life and enjoy my last few years on earth--however long they may be. I told God, "I just want to be happy." Then I thought, Do you? Do you really want to be happy? Or do you use the situations to be a victim? Do you enjoy the suffering? Do you like it when people marvel at how you overcome?
Please take a minute to reflect on that. Do you enjoy being a martyr? Do you say things like:
The victim mentality can become addictive. We soon learn to feed off the attention and drama. However, we have no power. If we change to to a survivor mentality, we have power to overcome the next misfortune that comes our way. YES, there will be more. As long as we are on this earth, there will be trials and tribulations. We need to analyze our actions carefully and see what responsibility we hold in the circumstance. That will empower us to minimize the pain, grow from the experience, and avoid making the same mistake again.
Do you want to be happy? Do you really want to be happy? Become a survivor. Lose the internal victim name tag you have been wearing. Be an over-comer.
Growing up, it seemed like bad things happened around me and to me. My parents were young when I was born. When they socialized with others their own age, the friend's children were much younger than I was. Therefore, I spent a lot of boring nights waiting to go home while my parents played cards or dominoes with friends. No one to talk to. No one to play with. Nothing to do. I didn't fit in.
At school, I was smaller than everyone else. I was not as blessed financially as everyone else. I didn't have many friends. I wasn't a good student. I didn't fit in.
At home, the youngest of my siblings was an outstanding student, talented artist, musically gifted, and just seemed to excel at everything. My sibling closest to me was a gifted housekeeper, seamstress, cook, and basically the perfect wife for some lucky man. I had no talents. I chose to lose myself in books. I read one book during the week and two every weekend. What else did I do? Hmmm, that's about it. I could have sung the Hee Haw song, "If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all."
As an adult, nothing changed. It seemed that something or somebody always had me upset. When I look back at the things that happened to me, I had a right to be upset. Nobody had to right to treat me that way. I spent a lot of time fighting for my rights. In the middle of college, my husband lost his job. We had no way to pay for my education, but if I didn't get my education, we had no way to get out of our financial crisis. I couldn't borrow the money because my husband had made ample money the year before and the loans were based on last year's income statement. I didn't qualify for a grant for the same reason.
With loans from our church, I finished school and began looking for jobs. I was hired by the district that I least wanted to work for. But I took the job because we needed it. My first year was miserable. A teacher in the school targeted me when I walked in the door. She lied about me, to me, and on me. She left at the end of the year. I was mistaken to think things would be great. Things still seemed to happen to me and has continued to this day.
In short, I have spent most of my life riding an emotional roller coaster. The other day I was spending some time in self-reflection and prayer. I asked God to allow me to have a calm life and enjoy my last few years on earth--however long they may be. I told God, "I just want to be happy." Then I thought, Do you? Do you really want to be happy? Or do you use the situations to be a victim? Do you enjoy the suffering? Do you like it when people marvel at how you overcome?
Please take a minute to reflect on that. Do you enjoy being a martyr? Do you say things like:
- Why do these things always happen to me? (They never happen to anyone else? REALLY?)
- Why do I always have to do the dirty work? (Nobody ALWAYS does anything.)
- If it's going to happen, it will happen to me. (Woe is me.)
- I'll be the one to get sick from it. You know I catch every disease going around. (EVERY one???)
- There's nothing I can do about my situation. I'll just have to live with it. (NOTHING???)
- Nobody else has it as bad as I do. (Oh, surely there are people who would trade places with you.)
The victim mentality can become addictive. We soon learn to feed off the attention and drama. However, we have no power. If we change to to a survivor mentality, we have power to overcome the next misfortune that comes our way. YES, there will be more. As long as we are on this earth, there will be trials and tribulations. We need to analyze our actions carefully and see what responsibility we hold in the circumstance. That will empower us to minimize the pain, grow from the experience, and avoid making the same mistake again.
Do you want to be happy? Do you really want to be happy? Become a survivor. Lose the internal victim name tag you have been wearing. Be an over-comer.
Rights and PrivilegesWe have now experienced a month of being told where we can go, when we can go, how many people can be there, and what we can buy. One of our often used sayings is "This is Unamerican." Oh, how true that statement is at this time.
We are so accustomed to going wherever we want to go and answering to no one about our activities, we resent being restricted.
The Bill of Rights was written because of the tyranny of England when the colonies were being established. It gives us the right to worship as we please, say what we think, and many other rights for our protection. 
Why Me?
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Right now we have freedom to worship, but our churches are closed. We have free education, but our schools are closed. We are free to travel, but most establishments are closed. If they are open, their restrooms are closed. We are free to buy what we want, but the shelves are empty. We are free to socialize, but stay six feet away from each other.
Isn't it horrible?? Yes, it is. And people in many countries live that way every day. They can't worship as or where they please. They can't travel without permission from the government. Their children can't go to school every day. Children are kicked out of school if they don't make good grades. Some countries tell their citizens how many children they are allowed to have. The citizen loses his or her job if the limit is exceeded. The things we take for granted are not basic rights in other countries. When this pandemic is over, maybe we should stop yelling about our rights and thank God for our privileges. We might see our God, our country, and our neighbors in a different light when we remember how blessed we are. Years ago I was asked to teach a class called ABU or Adaptive Behavior Unit. That's right. Their behavior was so bad that they could not be in the classroom with other students. Therefore, I was to 'adapt' their behavior. Yeah, right.
Actually, their behavior wasn't that bad. I had a difficult time figuring out why some of them were in the class. |
I had taught some of them in regular education without an incident. So, what was the problem. It didn't take me long to discover the issue. These students didn't understand a fact of life. When they got in trouble, it was always because someone did something to them or the teacher didn't like them.
This weekend I listened to a friend moan about her life. In that conversation, she asked wistfully, "Ohhh, why me?" Thank you, Lord, for opportunities You give us. Immediately, I said, "Because of the choices you made. We all have to live with the consequences of the decisions we make." She agreed. A lot of people cannot understand that there are consequences for any decision we make. It doesn't matter who we are, there will be consequences defined as the effect, recurring, or outcome of something happening earlier.
Consequences are a part of life. Any choice you make will come at a price. If you choose this good thing, you can't have that good thing. Choice means making a decision between two things. When you choose one thing, you give up the other thing. Everything comes at a price.
Why was I so hard on my friend? Because I don't want her to make those choices again. I want her to make informed decisions based on what is best for her life and willingly accept the consequences that go with that decision.
God did the same thing with the Israelite people. Before they went into the promise land, twelve spies went in and brought back a report. Numbers 32:9-13 For when they went up to the Valley of Eshcol and saw the land, they discouraged the heart of the children of Israel, so that they did not go into the land which the Lord had given them. So the Lord’s anger was aroused on that day, and He swore an oath, saying, ‘Surely none of the men who came up from Egypt, from twenty years old and above, shall see the land of which I swore to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, because they have not wholly followed Me, except Caleb the son of Jephunneh, the Kenizzite, and Joshua the son of Nun, for they have wholly followed the Lord.’ So the Lord’s anger was aroused against Israel, and He made them wander in the wilderness forty years, until all the generation that had done evil in the sight of the Lord was gone.
Ten spies told how big the inhabitants were. Two told how big the fruit was. The people did not trust God to protect them from the 'big' inhabitants. They chose not to accept the gift God gave them. God was so angered that he forced them to wander in the wilderness for 40 years until everyone who hadn't trusted him died. Did they choose to wander in the wilderness? No, but they chose not to trust God and the consequence for that was not being allowed to see the promise land. This wasn't the first time the people of Israel hadn't trusted God. Each time they failed to trust there was a consequence.
I don't want my friend to receive these consequences again. So, I will be hard on her. I will remind her of the consequences for any decision she makes. I believe in my friend. I think she will use this experience to help others in the future. There will be times when she will be tempted to go back to the life she knew. Then she will remember the consequences of that lifestyle and hopefully choose the right path.
What about you? Do you seem to receive the same consequence again and again? I urge you to spend some time in prayer. Ask God what decisions you are making that are resulting in these consequences. Then allow Him to speak to your heart. God gave us a heart to love and follow Him. But He also gave us a mind and free will to make our own choices. Be sure you are using your heart and mind to make choices that honor and glorify God.
This weekend I listened to a friend moan about her life. In that conversation, she asked wistfully, "Ohhh, why me?" Thank you, Lord, for opportunities You give us. Immediately, I said, "Because of the choices you made. We all have to live with the consequences of the decisions we make." She agreed. A lot of people cannot understand that there are consequences for any decision we make. It doesn't matter who we are, there will be consequences defined as the effect, recurring, or outcome of something happening earlier.
Consequences are a part of life. Any choice you make will come at a price. If you choose this good thing, you can't have that good thing. Choice means making a decision between two things. When you choose one thing, you give up the other thing. Everything comes at a price.
Why was I so hard on my friend? Because I don't want her to make those choices again. I want her to make informed decisions based on what is best for her life and willingly accept the consequences that go with that decision.
God did the same thing with the Israelite people. Before they went into the promise land, twelve spies went in and brought back a report. Numbers 32:9-13 For when they went up to the Valley of Eshcol and saw the land, they discouraged the heart of the children of Israel, so that they did not go into the land which the Lord had given them. So the Lord’s anger was aroused on that day, and He swore an oath, saying, ‘Surely none of the men who came up from Egypt, from twenty years old and above, shall see the land of which I swore to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, because they have not wholly followed Me, except Caleb the son of Jephunneh, the Kenizzite, and Joshua the son of Nun, for they have wholly followed the Lord.’ So the Lord’s anger was aroused against Israel, and He made them wander in the wilderness forty years, until all the generation that had done evil in the sight of the Lord was gone.
Ten spies told how big the inhabitants were. Two told how big the fruit was. The people did not trust God to protect them from the 'big' inhabitants. They chose not to accept the gift God gave them. God was so angered that he forced them to wander in the wilderness for 40 years until everyone who hadn't trusted him died. Did they choose to wander in the wilderness? No, but they chose not to trust God and the consequence for that was not being allowed to see the promise land. This wasn't the first time the people of Israel hadn't trusted God. Each time they failed to trust there was a consequence.
I don't want my friend to receive these consequences again. So, I will be hard on her. I will remind her of the consequences for any decision she makes. I believe in my friend. I think she will use this experience to help others in the future. There will be times when she will be tempted to go back to the life she knew. Then she will remember the consequences of that lifestyle and hopefully choose the right path.
What about you? Do you seem to receive the same consequence again and again? I urge you to spend some time in prayer. Ask God what decisions you are making that are resulting in these consequences. Then allow Him to speak to your heart. God gave us a heart to love and follow Him. But He also gave us a mind and free will to make our own choices. Be sure you are using your heart and mind to make choices that honor and glorify God.
Superstition In the Life Of a Christian.
What role should superstition play in the life of a Christian?
I just saw the beginning of a game show where the contestant informed the host that she was very superstitious. She then displayed her good luck charm and said, "I never leave home without it." Her good luck charm looked like a metallic half moon that would be beautiful on a chain and worn as a necklace. Think about what she said. Oh, she said it very well and eloquently . But what she was actually saying was that a piece of metal determined what happened in her life.
The dictionary's definition of superstition is a widely held but unjustified belief in supernatural causation leading to certain consequences of an action or event, or a practice based on such a belief. Christianity is the belief that Jesus Christ is the son of the living God who created the world and is in control of all things.
Oh, I can hear you screaming now. 'You put your faith in a God you cannot see? I'd rather put my faith in something I can see.' I understand that. However, there might be a few things to consider before going down that path.
First, a good luck charm is an inanimate object that was made by a human being. Without the hands of a person, that charm would not exist. So, how much power can that charm actually hold. My God has always existed. He was not made by man and required no man's hand when He created the world. In Job 38:4 God asks, "Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?" The chapter continues with God reminding Job that He didn't need man's help to create the world or to operate it.
Faith is defined as complete trust or confidence in someone or something. What does the Bible tell us about trust? Proverbs 3:5 says 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding.' I Timothy 4:7 tells us "But reject profane and old wives’ fables, and exercise yourself toward godliness."
Let's look at it logically. How could any inanimate object, day of the month, number, or animal have any bearing on what happens in your life? Even if I were not a Christian, I would not be superstitious. I cannot believe in my Christian heart or my logical mind that any of these things control my destiny.
I think I'll just keep putting my faith in a God who loved me enough to send His Son to die on the Cross for my sins. If you have never considered Who holds your destiny, I invite you to turn to John 3:16 in the Bible and call upon the name of Jesus Christ for your salvation.
I just saw the beginning of a game show where the contestant informed the host that she was very superstitious. She then displayed her good luck charm and said, "I never leave home without it." Her good luck charm looked like a metallic half moon that would be beautiful on a chain and worn as a necklace. Think about what she said. Oh, she said it very well and eloquently . But what she was actually saying was that a piece of metal determined what happened in her life.
The dictionary's definition of superstition is a widely held but unjustified belief in supernatural causation leading to certain consequences of an action or event, or a practice based on such a belief. Christianity is the belief that Jesus Christ is the son of the living God who created the world and is in control of all things.
Oh, I can hear you screaming now. 'You put your faith in a God you cannot see? I'd rather put my faith in something I can see.' I understand that. However, there might be a few things to consider before going down that path.
First, a good luck charm is an inanimate object that was made by a human being. Without the hands of a person, that charm would not exist. So, how much power can that charm actually hold. My God has always existed. He was not made by man and required no man's hand when He created the world. In Job 38:4 God asks, "Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?" The chapter continues with God reminding Job that He didn't need man's help to create the world or to operate it.
Faith is defined as complete trust or confidence in someone or something. What does the Bible tell us about trust? Proverbs 3:5 says 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding.' I Timothy 4:7 tells us "But reject profane and old wives’ fables, and exercise yourself toward godliness."
Let's look at it logically. How could any inanimate object, day of the month, number, or animal have any bearing on what happens in your life? Even if I were not a Christian, I would not be superstitious. I cannot believe in my Christian heart or my logical mind that any of these things control my destiny.
I think I'll just keep putting my faith in a God who loved me enough to send His Son to die on the Cross for my sins. If you have never considered Who holds your destiny, I invite you to turn to John 3:16 in the Bible and call upon the name of Jesus Christ for your salvation.
Understanding Behavior
Behavior is not just the way we act. To understand behavior, we have to understand the rationale. When we say behavior, we mean any behavior. Good, bad, ugly, sensible, chaotic... It doesn't matter what kind of behavior we discuss. The purpose of the behavior is the same.
There are only two reasons for any behavior.
Now what do you do about the behavior?
Determine the reason for the behavior. This is sometimes a little tricky. Let's look at some scenarios that might help. He said, "Would you do this? You do it so much better than I do." He meant, I hate doing this and will do anything to get out of it. (Avoidance) She said, "Thank you for doing that. You do it better than anyone else." She meant, You are the only one of the group that will do it without complaining. (Avoiding complaints) Your toddler said, "I want candy. I want CANDY. I WANT CANDY" He meant, I want candy and I will embarrass you so that you give it to me. (Gaining pleasure) Your teenager said, "I'll take the trash out in a minute. I'm busy." He meant, I hate taking trash out. If I wait, Mom will get mad enough to do it herself. (Avoidance) She said, "You make the best pies. Could I get you to make one for the social on Sunday." She meant, I want a good pie. If I can get her to make it, I'll have what I want. (Gaining pleasure)
Prepare for the battle. Now that you have determined why that person continues to get under your skin, let's use some strategy to change the behavior. Changing the behavior is as simple as not giving them what they want. When you give in to the desires of the other person, you reinforce that desire and assure them that their behavior is working. As long as the behavior works, it will continue. As soon as the schemer learns that his behavior did not get him what he wanted, the behavior will change. That sounds too simple, but it works.
Implementing the strategy.
Yeah, But!!! I might hurt their feelings. Were they worried about hurting yours. I can't stand seeing the work not done. Don't you think they know that? That's why they wait, so you will do it. It's embarrassing when my child yells. Keep asking them, "How many stickers do you have?" Then explain, again why they don't have enough to get candy. Yes, people will be watching you. They are watching when your child yells and you give them the candy. This time they will be admiring your teaching skills rather than thinking about what a brat you are raising.
Above all else---Do NOT give in once you take your stand. The behavior will temporarily escalate to test you. Don't fall for it. Stand your ground. The behavior will get better.
There are only two reasons for any behavior.
- To gain something pleasurable.
- To avoid something unpleasant.
Now what do you do about the behavior?
Determine the reason for the behavior. This is sometimes a little tricky. Let's look at some scenarios that might help. He said, "Would you do this? You do it so much better than I do." He meant, I hate doing this and will do anything to get out of it. (Avoidance) She said, "Thank you for doing that. You do it better than anyone else." She meant, You are the only one of the group that will do it without complaining. (Avoiding complaints) Your toddler said, "I want candy. I want CANDY. I WANT CANDY" He meant, I want candy and I will embarrass you so that you give it to me. (Gaining pleasure) Your teenager said, "I'll take the trash out in a minute. I'm busy." He meant, I hate taking trash out. If I wait, Mom will get mad enough to do it herself. (Avoidance) She said, "You make the best pies. Could I get you to make one for the social on Sunday." She meant, I want a good pie. If I can get her to make it, I'll have what I want. (Gaining pleasure)
Prepare for the battle. Now that you have determined why that person continues to get under your skin, let's use some strategy to change the behavior. Changing the behavior is as simple as not giving them what they want. When you give in to the desires of the other person, you reinforce that desire and assure them that their behavior is working. As long as the behavior works, it will continue. As soon as the schemer learns that his behavior did not get him what he wanted, the behavior will change. That sounds too simple, but it works.
Implementing the strategy.
- For the one who keeps trying to dump his work on you--be strong enough to say no. Then immediately turn to do something else. Do not stand there and look at this slacker. He is an expert at manipulation. His skills range from the sad puppy dog eyes to the raving lunatic. Don't fall for it.
- For the social mama that always seems to dictate what you bring to the gathering--bring something else. If she asks for pie, bring cake. Let her know that you will not be controlled.
- For the group that seems to leave you the dirty work--leave early. Just sneak out about 10 minutes before the event is over. Do not allow yourself to be used as a dumping ground.
- For the teenager who won't take out the trash--this is easy. When he says he will do it in a minute, your reply should be "Well the sooner you take it out, the sooner you can (eat, play video game, use the phone....)
- For the child who screams in the store or other public places, have a discussion before entering. Show your child a page of sticker--simple round colored ones in the office section. Explain that every x number of minutes (differs with age of child) that his behavior is appropriate, he will receive one sticker on his hand. If he has x number of stickers when you get to the checkout, he will receive a piece of candy. He will soon learn that inappropriate behavior gets him nothing.
Yeah, But!!! I might hurt their feelings. Were they worried about hurting yours. I can't stand seeing the work not done. Don't you think they know that? That's why they wait, so you will do it. It's embarrassing when my child yells. Keep asking them, "How many stickers do you have?" Then explain, again why they don't have enough to get candy. Yes, people will be watching you. They are watching when your child yells and you give them the candy. This time they will be admiring your teaching skills rather than thinking about what a brat you are raising.
Above all else---Do NOT give in once you take your stand. The behavior will temporarily escalate to test you. Don't fall for it. Stand your ground. The behavior will get better.
Help! I'm Homeschooling
So you are now the teacher to your children. School is closed and you are in charge. You are responsible for their education. It has been less than a week and already you are tired. You are tired of the screaming. You have had enough of the arguing. The sassy comments have overwhelmed you. The crying is driving you crazy.
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Then there are the questions you answer in the middle of your eloquent lesson on how weather affects our lives.
No, I do not know why Mrs Jones wears that color lipstick. Yes, we are going to do this until school opens again. No, I did not get fired from my job. No, you cannot report me to the police. No, we are not having another baby. Yes, they had school buses when I was in school. No, we cannot grow pickles in the garden. Relax. You have not entered the Twilight Zone. Yes, they ask the same question at school. Yes, the teacher asks the same question you do. You will now walk a mile in the shoes of the teacher. Yeah, but the teachers are trained for this. I can assure you that we attended no classes on answering these questions or inspiring kids to focus on their work. Some things just come with experience. Don't worry. You'll be experienced by the time this virus has run its course. |
What An Exciting Time!!!
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What do you mean--exciting time?? Don't you know that we are in a pandemic with the Coronavirus?
Oh, I know that. Churches are closed. Schools are closed. Some businesses are closed or will close very shortly do to lack of income. People are stressed and anxious because they don't know what is going to happen or how long this will last. Everything is chaotic. Who is the author of confusion?? That's right! Satan. Beelzebub. Lucifer. The Prince of the World. The Enemy. He is probably dancing in the streets of hell as he watches this fiasco. Oh, if he only knew what we know. That God is still in control. When people are in turmoil, that's when God shows up in a mighty way. II Chronicles 20 tells the story of Judah being attacked by three different countries at once. Verses 14-18 tell us "Then the Spirit of the Lord came upon Jahaziel the son of Zechariah, the son of Benaiah, the son of Mattaniah, a Levite of the sons of Asaph, in the midst of the assembly. And he said, “Listen, all you of Judah and you inhabitants of Jerusalem, and you, King Jehoshaphat! Thus says the Lord to you: ‘Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours, but God’s. Tomorrow go down against them. They will surely come up by the Ascent of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the brook before the Wilderness of Jeruel. You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you, O Judah and Jerusalem!’ Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, for the Lord is with you.” Who fought the battle? God! The army stood still and watched God work. And let's not forget the battle of Jericho. The children of Israel marched around the city once each day for six days. Then seven times on the seventh day. Then they blew a trumpet and the walls fell down. I've always wanted to see that. Not Israel marching. Not the walls falling. I want to see the looks on the faces of the people of Jericho as the Israelites march around their city in complete silence. They must have been calling to each other, "You have got to come see this." I can imagine that later they called to each other, "The crazies are back." Each day they watched what they thought was a group of idiots with nothing else to do but walk around their city. If only they had known what would happen on the seventh day. When does God help His people? When they turn to the Lord God of Israel. II Chronicles 15: 3-5 For a long time Israel has been without the true God, without a teaching priest, and without law; but when in their trouble they turned to the Lord God of Israel, and sought Him, He was found by them. And in those times there was no peace to the one who went out, nor to the one who came in, but great turmoil was on all the inhabitants of the lands. Can we call on God at this time of confusion? Absolutely. Psalm 34:17-18 When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. We don't know what God is going to do through this. But we know it will be mighty, because we have a mighty God. The song says "What a mighty God we serve. Angels bow before Him, Heaven and Earth adore Him. What a might God we serve! Things look dark now. Watch for God to brighten the situation and save the crushed in spirit. Let's don't underestimate God. Expect a miracle. God won't disappoint you. |
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